February 2007 - The FoCuSeD™ Facilitator eNewsletter
Pursuing Dreams | Gary Rush, IAF CPF | Master
I’m not talking about those you have when you sleep. I’ve been thinking about pursuing dreams because of what I’ve been through these past few years. Did I fail? Did I give up? I’ve asked myself these questions many times. For those of you who have called or emailed me to “pick my brain” about pursuing dreams – this is for you.
As many of you know, cooking has been my passion since I was very young. I even had an Easy Bake Oven as a child. Millie and I enjoyed hosting private dinners at our home. As our sons got older and were ready for college, we started planning "how to" realize our dream of me being a fine chef and our owning a fine dining restaurant.
In 2004, Millie and I moved to Puerto Rico, and began working on our restaurant, "Mirácles". We designed every aspect from the decor to the furniture, the menu, the kitchen, five-star service, policies, procedures, training, and cuisine. We used organic food. We had a world-class wine cellar. Our Vision was to provide the finest dining experience with the highest quality in cuisine, service, and ambience and we succeeded. We hired experienced and inexperienced staff and trained them. While most restaurants struggled with staff, our staff worked hard and was fully behind the Vision of our restaurant. We opened and received many accolades. The guests loved it and we even had guests from the States. It was as if we were hosting our private dinners, but for a larger group of people.
It was a lovely site, but in the wrong location. We couldn’t provide valet parking – something virtually mandatory for high-end restaurants in Puerto Rico. We suffered financially. I was working 24/7. Our mascot was ill with separation anxiety. Millie lost weight. Our sons, who worked with us, were unhappy because of our stress. It wasn’t what I had envisioned, so the night I decided to close the restaurant, I did it because it was destroying 'mi familia'.
After closing the restaurant, I continued following my dream and decided to look for a chef job – why not? After all, I had all these accolades from good sources and working for someone else would free my family from all the stress. I spent months looking to no avail – first, I was older and second, I had only one year of actual kitchen experience.
Because “necessity is the mother of all invention”, I decided to go back to consulting and 'Facilitator' training. I was reluctant at first. It felt as if I was giving up on my dream. But, as time passed, I felt excited because what I was going to contribute now, was vital for the betterment of people. We thought that reinstating MGR Consulting would be easy – after all, we had been successful for 19 years. We found out, however, that it was like starting from the very beginning. So, we spent eighteen months rebuilding our business and my skills. I researched, read books, studied, and attended workshops. I rewrote my facilitation training class materials, added new materials, marketed to old and new clients, and stressed a lot. It did afford me some benefits – I was able to spend time with Millie and our mascot. We helped our sons move back to Chicago to find themselves and we had time to visit with family and friends. It's been 10 years and looking back, we don't regret any of it. In fact, it was a hell of a ride!
When we talk about our story, our family and friends inevitably reminded us that, “at least you made an attempt, you will never look back and wonder if”. They are right and I have no regrets, I don’t believe in regret – it’s a waste of time. But it has made me think about pursuing dreams. Did I fail? Did I give up?
I have heard encouragement from many of you and I thank you. Many of you have also said that you envied my courage to pursue my dream and that you wished you could as well. Yes, courage had a lot to do with it, but I was taught that, “If you don’t risk, you don’t win.” I’ve always had the unflinching support and encouragement of my family, so taking a chance and pursuing my dream wasn’t difficult. I did learn some things about pursuing dreams that I would like to share with you:
- First, you need the support of your family. For me, this is the most important thing.
- When changing careers, spend time researching all aspects of the new endeavor. What I missed was not fully realizing the change in lifestyle that was required. I went from working 2 to 3 weeks a month and being home spending time with my family to working almost 24/7 which took a toll on my family and me.
- Define your measures of success by what you accomplish, not by how much money you make. Different careers bring different financial rewards. Some are financially riskier than others.
- My advice to all is to pursue your dream. When you pursue your dream, the most you can lose is money – it can be replaced. When you don’t pursue your dream,you risk losing desire, drive, and passion. If pursuing your dream doesn’t work out, there is always an out. Remember, when one door closes, another is waiting to be opened. Pursuing dreams keeps you alive and growing.
Now, I'm back to consulting and facilitator training and I have come to realize that my dream has always been with me - mi familia. Don’t get me wrong, Millie and I are as different as night and day, and we clash often – that just makes us better - we balance each other. We have a great relationship with our sons and are in contact daily. Our sons are each other’s best friend. I have achieved my dream - my work helps me maintain my dream and I'm thankful that it is enriching and contributes to the betterment of all people.
When I came back to consulting and facilitator training, I brought lessons learned, concepts and new ideas. So you see our dreams provide synergies and lessons in life that we use as we pursue new goals. It’s never a mistake to pursue your dream. It is a mistake not to. Did I fail? Did I give up? No, because I always had my dream with me, mi familia.
I want to thank my sons for the love and support they have always given me. I thank my four-legged friend for her unconditional love. Finally, I want to thank Millie. I wouldn’t be who I am without her love and support. Today, after a lot of soul searching, I can honestly say 'yes', I succeeded wildly at my dream, “Mi Familia”. 
Visit our YouTube Channel to see our continuing culinary journey.